I Hate Buying Gas

with a passion. Remember the good old days when your parents would give you a $20 and it would almost fill up your car? Oh how times have changed. Now about half my paycheck goes to gas. Well, it's amazing that I even get a pay check from women's issue in the first place. They talk about how you should not drive so hard to conserve gas, but when your license won't let you go over 40 because a horse kicked you in the head, there isn't much room to "drive hard" anyways. So I was seriously considering a "Smart Car." But the problem is that I need 4 wheel/all wheel drive (as does everyone else) for this land called Provo that sometimes feels God forsaken. Ok- imagine this scenario:

I get in my SmartCar for a quick trip to the grocery store (I don't need a car for much else because I can't drive over 40). Like 1/2 the year here, it's snowing outside. Naturally. So I come to a red light and stop, and the person behind me is attempting to text while driving (its probably my sister) and they don't have enough time to stop and they slam into my rear end because of the slippery road. The impact on my brain sends my right back into a coma (this would just happen to me, not you, because of my brain's fragile state) and someone has to go out of their busy way to get me to the hospital. Who knows what happens from there on out. Maybe this time Eddie has to pay the quarter of a million dollars in medical bills. Worst case scenario: I die but he still has to pay that. Or if I'm in a SmartCar and its snowing, I could be the one not be able to stop and I could slam into someone else. Or drive off a cliff and fall to my death.

So the dilemma: Where/how do I find a safe, affordable, gas efficient car? Please, give me advice on this.

Tanning...or Burning...

You know when you were younger and your BFF could get tan so easily but you could never catch up? Oh, you're telling me that never happened to you? Well, Ani was always so tan and she could get tan in no time. I would always lay out with her but the problem was that all of my tan pealed off. I mean, I was tanner than I am now when I was in HS and stuff, but I've never been dark. The day that the below picture was taken on was saturday, and I worked for 9 bloody hours. I had a long sleeved shirt on pulled up and was wearing gloves most of the day, so I have a cute tan line from my wrists to about my elbows, naturally. That tanned. But my ears and neck got pretty fried. So my ears are pealing off in large chunks. And its not just a layer or two of skin, its really bad. I can't see the back of my neck or I'd report on that too.

The tops of my ears hurt sooo bad! The chunks are so fun and gratifying to peal off but it makes my ears tender.

Check us Out

Eddie with his saw and me with my nail gun. How tough are we? Don't mess...

The New Dictionary

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a-hole

Jon Stewert and Pres. Bush

Ok I really don't usually find stuff like this even remotely funny, but I think this is kinda funny. In no way does Breanne E. King or Edward A.S. King support the thoughts and beliefs of this video. They are not responsible for anything that is said in the following video:

Life

Here is a new life annoyance. We all know what its like to mystically lose a sock in the wash, but here is a new one. How about losing a whole stinkin' pillowcase. Where did that one go. I did my wash at my parent's because they have a washing machine (and a dryer!) (Someone's got to take advantage of these new technological advances!). I bet what happened is as follows:

My parents discovered a pillowcase, and one of their sets of NeatSheets was missing a pillowcase so they just stuck my one pillowcase, called it their own product, and shipped it out. I hope whoever gets that sheet set realizes that something does not belong, namely one pillowcase, and ships it back for a real NeatSheets pillowcase. Then my parents will realize their scheming didn't work and give me mine back.

Not wearing matching socks works well for Eddie and I. That way we never have to match them up. So next time you see our room we'll have mismatched pillowcases.

Have you ever lost a pillow case? I could not be the first one..

The News is Good to Us

I am the kind of person who will believe pretty much anything I read. If it comes from a good source, that is. Like CNN. I got sent an article that says that Snoop Dogg has been converted to Mormonism. I totally believe it. CNN said so. And then Eddie sent be an article (You see, I don't look at the news myself, I only read what other people send me. Ask me whats up with the nation. I cant tell you.) that says that "people who buy more than three pairs of sneakers a year are 61 percent more likely to have the qualities of a modern leader." Now this is great news for me because I'm pretty positive Eddie has more shoes than me. And I have a lot. This past trip to China, Eddie came home with 3 or 4 new pairs of shoes and I only had 1. Hes wild. The shoes just overflow out of his closet.

To read about Snoop Dogg being Mormon, go here.
To read about how the number of shoes you own dictates your leadership capabilities, go here.